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Loyalty: She needs to know you’re committed.Įsteem: She wants you to honor and cherish her.Ĭ-H-A-I-R-S: How to Spell Respect to Your HusbandĬonquest: Appreciate his desire to work and achieve. Peacemaking: She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
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Understanding: Don’t try to fix her just listen. Openness: She wants you to open up to her. Eggerichs offers two strategies to energize the cycle of marriage: C-O-U-P-L-E for the men, and C-H-A-I-R-S for the women.Ĭ-O-U-P-L-E: How to Spell Love to Your Wife So, in probably the most important section of his book, Dr. His love motivates her respect her respect motivates his love. The only way to stop the Crazy Cycle spinning is to reverse it!īecause just the way a woman’s disrespect demotivates a man’s love and vice versa, When men and women argue, these differing points of view escalate to the point of no return (Even Wittgenstein would say that we don’t visualize the meaning of words in the same way…) This is, in a nutshell, the Crazy Cycle from the title: without love, she reacts in a disrespectful way without respect, he reacts in an unloving way.īecause unlike women who usually see the world through pink sunglasses, men most often use blue sunglasses. Paul’s above-quoted verse, and illustrating how all unhappy families are, in fact, unhappy in the same way, since they are all trapped in the identical no love/no respect succession of arguments. This is the theoretical section, analyzing in much more detail St. True, Eggerichs doesn’t go that much into original psychological or scientific explanation as to why this should be true, but he offers numerous examples to prove his point, in addition to a supposedly surefire strategy to put it into practice and reap the rewards for your efforts.Īccordingly, the book itself is divided into three main sections: Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Emerson Eggerichs, in that very verse, the Bible says more about relationships than all the great poets, philosophers, and researchers who have ever lived or will ever be born.Īnd that is because, in his opinion, love and respect are the primary emotional needs of women and men respectively, which makes them as necessary to the wellbeing of each respective gender as air or food: Paul the Apostle in his “Epistle to the Ephesians,” “and the wife must respect her husband.”Īccording to Dr. “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,” instructs the men St. He gives marriage conferences throughout the country and works closely with his wife Sarah, with whom he has lived in a happy marriage for almost half a century. in Child and Family ecology from Michigan State University and authored his most famous book, “Love & Respect.” in Communications, and a Master of Divinity degree from Dubuque Seminary, Eggerichs worked as a senior pastor of East Lansing’s Trinity Church for almost two decades.
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Emerson Eggerichs is the author of the “Love & Respect” series of books and the president of Love and Respect Ministries.Īfter obtaining a B.A. “Love & Respect” is a book everyone should read: couples who argue because they argue, couples who don’t because there’s a very high chance that they will (come on, guys, you’re barely in the second month of your relationship it’s a bit different later on).ĭue to its Christian undertones in the first two parts and explicit Christian message in the last one, “Love & Respect” will probably be enjoyed the most by religious couples of almost any Christian denominations.
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Read our summary of “ Love & Respect” to find out! Who Should Read “Love & Respect”? And Why? Or, let us rephrase that: do you know that in the dictionary of women, relationship is spelled C-O-U-P-L-E and in the dictionary of men, it is spelled C-H-A-I-R-S? 6 min read ⌚ The Love She Most Desires The Respect He Desperately Needs